One year passes

The magnolia tree we planted in our backyard burst forth into bloom today, one year since Lee Anne's passing.

It's been a difficult year but we take life a day at a time and time slowly heals. Special days like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are the hardest but we move through each one and I think about what Lee Anne would have wanted us to do.

We planted some flowers at the grave, laid down some roses and wept

Back to school

Just a quick update to say that all the children are back to school. Thank you for your prayers and support.

One day at a time

In the last few hours of Lee Anne's life I seem to recall that I took the clock off the wall in her hospital room. Maybe it was the tick-tock noise that became noticeable or perhaps I just wanted more time with her. She held on to life for her family but once she'd written letters to the children we prayed together that the Lord would take her to be in heaven. And amazingly she died peacefully in front of us all just hours later; her hand in my hand that I just kept holding although she was no longer there.

I replaced the battery in the clock, reset the time and hung it back on the wall and time began again. Grief still comes unexpectedly in tears every few weeks triggered by little things for me. The children go quiet and although we mention Mommy there is a gentle acceptance and I'm not able to attribute any negative behaviours or attitudes to the loss of their mother. We've been blessed with comfort in the knowledge that Lee Anne is in no pain, in a better place and that we will see her again one day.

Time does heal, some memories fade and new ones are made. After spending time with their cousins at the cottage, we took a family trip back to England for almost a month to spend time with my Mum, Dad, sister, brother and their families. We visited Warwick castle, went to Stratford upon Avon (where I proposed to Lee 20 years earlier) and then went to the south of France to a resort before driving into Italy to finally fly home from Rome. It was a time to "reset" ourselves as a new unit and learn to live without Mommy.

Since coming home the girls have all been to an overnight camp for a week and we've spent the last few weeks redoing their rooms and getting ready for school. And how could I forget ... we also got a puppy back on May 24th which is Lee and my wedding anniversary. Her name is Meredith and she's an Australian Shepard.

Thanks to your generous donations I've been able to hire a housekeeper/nanny called Nesha. She'll be starting next week when I go back to work too. The time off with the children and the Lords provision of Nesha is such a blessing for which I am so grateful.

Please pray for Nesha, myself and the children as we settle into our new routines and move forward one day at a time.

In Heaven

Thank you to everyone that was able to come and celebrate Lee Anne's life today and to those behind the scenes that made today possible.

We are overwhelmed by your love and support.

A rose for my beautiful bride in heaven...

.... a strong and courageous woman. As her life on earth began to draw to a close people commented more and more about her physical and spiritual strength. Almost everyone she came into contact with noticed that there was something different, something special about her. One young woman texted us that, “it was amazing to see the love your family had for one another and the power and strength of your faith”. A housemate back in Kingston years ago commented that Lee Anne and I were “trapped in our belief system” “that religion was cultural”, “a crutch for weak people”. Yet the life experience I’ve shared with Lee Anne has demonstrated and continues to show the intimate presence of the God, his manifest glory in our lives. Lee Anne had a great sense of peace and readiness to go to heaven. She died only a few hours after we prayed together for God to bring her home. Now that she is gone I am full of praise to God as Isaiah 57 verses 18-19 says “I will comfort those who mourn, bringing words of praise to their lips. May they have abundant peace both near and far, says the Lord who heals them”. Though I am deeply saddened at my personal loss, I would not have wanted to keep Lee Anne from heaven for a moment longer. Perhaps the children are still in shock too but they also have peace and confidence in the new way of life that stands before us. When I asked them what they will miss most about Mommy all replied, “we’ll miss everything about her Daddy”. Yet I know that God will enable me to be both a mother and father to the children something that Lee had no doubts about. In addition to the doctors and nurses that cared for Lee Anne, God has also given so many of you to support us with with meals, child care, finances and with new friendships for which we are all so very grateful. Even for making this service such a celebration of Lee Anne’s life. Thank you all

His kingdom reigns 

Funeral Details

Hello everyone,

Here is a link to the funeral details for Lee Anne. She passed away peacefully on Thursday, May 12th, 2016. The funeral is at noon on Wednesday, May 18th with a visitation beginning at 10am.

We’re all still in somewhat of a daze but thank you for your continued prayers and support. We’ve also been blessed by many of you who have brought or bought meals for us. It’s really appreciated. 

For the Lord

2:22 pm - Lee Anne Phair Cowley passed peacefully with Nick, Sandra, Wally and Jonathan at her side

"For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living."

Romans 14:7-9

5:30am - Lee has a rough night and is declining very rapidly now. She had to have extra medication every 2 hours throughout the night.

9:30am -  Lee Anne doesn't have much longer to be with us here on earth. The doctor advised that we all give her permission to leave and we have. She belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ as she has from the beginning to eternity.

As the scripture above describes Lee has never lived for her self alone, always giving of herself to others. 

Even in these final days and hours she wants to relieve our suffering as her own.

It's so terribly awful to die from this disease but praise God for the doctors, nurses and medications that make this transition from this world to the next as comfortable as possible.

11am - The infusion of pain meds continue to be increased with the addition of sedatives. This helps with the delirium caused by the imbalance of her body's electrolytes. She feels so cold to our touch yet feels warm in herself. 

Please pray for her to leave the pain of her earthly body and move to a joyful presence with the Lord.

As we drove back and forth to the hospital this past Saturday and Sunday she commented each time on the beauty of the Magnolia blossoms. Let us remember our beautiful times with Lee Anne as we continue to grieve and pray.

Comfort

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

1 Peter 5:10

Lee Anne had a peaceful first night in palliative care. We have a private room with nice view overlooking Alexandra Park.

The new doctor is excellent and spent over an hour describing how best to keep Lee comfortable.

To my amazement Lee had a burst of energy for a short time this morning and was able to write letters to the children.