One day at a time

In the last few hours of Lee Anne's life I seem to recall that I took the clock off the wall in her hospital room. Maybe it was the tick-tock noise that became noticeable or perhaps I just wanted more time with her. She held on to life for her family but once she'd written letters to the children we prayed together that the Lord would take her to be in heaven. And amazingly she died peacefully in front of us all just hours later; her hand in my hand that I just kept holding although she was no longer there.

I replaced the battery in the clock, reset the time and hung it back on the wall and time began again. Grief still comes unexpectedly in tears every few weeks triggered by little things for me. The children go quiet and although we mention Mommy there is a gentle acceptance and I'm not able to attribute any negative behaviours or attitudes to the loss of their mother. We've been blessed with comfort in the knowledge that Lee Anne is in no pain, in a better place and that we will see her again one day.

Time does heal, some memories fade and new ones are made. After spending time with their cousins at the cottage, we took a family trip back to England for almost a month to spend time with my Mum, Dad, sister, brother and their families. We visited Warwick castle, went to Stratford upon Avon (where I proposed to Lee 20 years earlier) and then went to the south of France to a resort before driving into Italy to finally fly home from Rome. It was a time to "reset" ourselves as a new unit and learn to live without Mommy.

Since coming home the girls have all been to an overnight camp for a week and we've spent the last few weeks redoing their rooms and getting ready for school. And how could I forget ... we also got a puppy back on May 24th which is Lee and my wedding anniversary. Her name is Meredith and she's an Australian Shepard.

Thanks to your generous donations I've been able to hire a housekeeper/nanny called Nesha. She'll be starting next week when I go back to work too. The time off with the children and the Lords provision of Nesha is such a blessing for which I am so grateful.

Please pray for Nesha, myself and the children as we settle into our new routines and move forward one day at a time.