5:00pm - many of you are asking how the children are coping. Like adults, children experience and process prolonged grieving in junks and in different ways. Feelings of denial summarize all the kids responses so far but we've been told to expect anxiety, anger and conflict that may not surface for many weeks, months or even years. When we've told them about Mommy's cancer and the prognosis they don't say anything and have rarely asked any questions up until very recently. This morning one of them asked when Mommy was coming home and it shocked me to say that Mommy may not come home again 😢
Kids are resilient and want reassurance that they did not cause the cancer, that they can't catch it and that someone will continue to care for them. I've spent time with each of them to answer these questions after which time they bounce quickly back "Can I go play now, Daddy?" They also need their daily routine, regular activities and special events to look forward to. Someone invited the little girls for a sleepover tomorrow and this will be very helpful. When they came to see Lee Anne yesterday they all stared at the long tube poking out of Mommy's nose and just stood there stoically in silence rather than making polite conversation as we adults do. I've taken the older girls to an experienced counsellor this year for several sessions and will likely book some more to help them talk it out with a safe and neutral third-party if they want to talk. The children are also very slowly catching up with me in terms of fighting back tears when a thought occurs that cuts very deeply into our hearts and minds. It's like a "grieving parade to acceptance" with Lee Anne leading the way then myself, Wally and Sandra, the kids ... going on and on as we all face the excruciating emotional agony of Lee Anne's mental and physical suffering and our own personal loss.
Yet God gives us each other for comfort, to restore our spirit and quench our anguish. As so many of you are doing letting Lee know the depth of your love for her is so precious at this time so please continue to text and email her.
3:00pm - Lee's oncologist dropped in and advised us to continue to let her bowels rest. Tomorrow we can temporarily turn off the NG tube for an hour to see if Lee can hold fluids down. She told us that obstructions sometimes take quite a few days to clear as parts of our bowels become "lazy" if we don't use them. I was anxious for Lee to start drinking and eating again but she said that it really doesn't make a difference whether Lee eats or not at this point. The key thing is waiting for gas. It's almost funny to think that so many people are waiting on a "toot" when we try to hide our own so often
2:30pm - finally saw our new ward doctor who reviewed Lee's chart from ER. Lee can take sips of clear fluids even though the NG tube constantly drains fluid from Lee's stomach
10:50am - At this point, Lee is still very tired and not up to accepting visitors just yet
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